Obviously I don’t do this because I’ve NEVER broken a SINGLE law in my LIFE but. Much like how big corporations try to tell you pirating media from them isn’t victimless and everyone is like yeah fucking right I feel like shoplifting from big box stores is also victimless. Like who cares lol
As far as I can tell if you take something from a big box store the worst ramifications are that some employee might get yelled at (which is stupid it almost never has anything to do with the employee) but that’s about it. You think Walmart is really gonna hurt from someone getting a box of cookies at a…high discount?? You think it matters??
“if things get stolen it comes out of the employees paycheck!” A manager may threaten that. It is a lie. Also illegal. 💖
“shoplifting causes prices to go up for everyone else!” No it doesn’t, prices go up for everyone else because they can just do that. Blaming it on shoplifting rather than corporate greed is a great tactic for looking better
“Losses mean that wages go down!” Wages are low again bc they can be. I worked retail and by far one MONTH of losses (and losses aren’t even just from shoplifting this also includes unusable returns and think that’s just fuckin. Break in transit) is less than one DAY of profits for big ass companies. They do not need to lower wages for it.
“The employees get in trouble/fired!” Admittedly this one will be a mileage may vary thing but for the most part not really. I think they CANT be fired unless they’re the ones doing the shoplifting themselves (which, to be fair, very bad idea to try and shoplift from where you work. Don’t do that) but overall it’s generally like. Ah goddammit sorry that happened on your shift or hey did you call that in over radio? If it’s more severe than that fuckin uhhh leave to a different retail job if possible bc that’s shitty as hell and completely unacceptable behavior actually !
Tldr shoplifting doesn’t even seem like a crime to me it’s just being good at getting a good deal lol. Again not that /I/ would ever shoplift of course
Sorry I just looked up some stats and it’s currently estimated that there’s about $720,000 lost in shoplifting…per every BILLION DOLLARS worth of sales. Not even a hundredth of it. Lmao.
every time I reblog this my sister sends me a message to the effect of “thank u for reposting that cat video on your tumblr i have seen it so many times but it delights me every time because their paws are so gentle and graceful”
did an internship recently and got so much positive feedback for my work until one of my supervisors told my manager that while i did the tasks perfectly i was ‘a bit quiet’ … it was my only negative feedback and still it was so demoralising because i felt like i had pushed myself to be way more chatty than i am naturally. STILL i was ‘too quiet’.
not even a customer facing role btw, i had no interaction with the public. it wasn’t a criticism of my work; it was of my personality.
we went for an interview for a job at a library once and part of the feedback when we didn’t get the job was “they were too quiet” and we were like
bible says after we’re resurrected not a single hair on our heads will be lost. rip to women who spent a fortune on laser hair removal. god does not care and hairy mother mary will be gluing that shit back on w tender loving care one by one
me looking at hair removal ads: i don’t think my mother, inventor of Jesus Christ, would be too pleased to hear about this
does tumblr know about tim misny??? like has the level of tim misny awareness that exists in northeast ohio broken containment and become known online yet???
ok so tim misny is a personal injury lawyer here in ohio.
that’s him. you do not have to remember his face from this image because you’re gonna see it a lot in this post. so mainly i think we all kinda honed in on tim misny because of his slogan
he’s gonna make them pay. he’s gonna get you that money but also it’s a little threatening like he’s gonna fully fuck his legal opponent’s shit up. this sprung tons of local memes. then there were the billboards which were normal at first.
but here’s the thing; we already know what misny does. he makes them pay. so it turns into just saying “you know what i do” which is funny enough if you don’t at all have the context.
but this is not where the absurdity caps out, my friends. no. this is what it has evolved to and they. are. everywhere.
that’s right. no text. just the judging eyes of tim misny, glaring through our skin and into our souls. there is no god. there is no devil. there is just tim misny and he’s gonna make them pay.
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”
I love when wildlife comes in because it always comes in a box and you have no idea what it is until you open it like it could be a tiny baby bird or a frog or a giant raptor or anything and you get to help make them feel better like that’s so exciting??? How do people not get pumped up when the receptionist brings a box out the back I don’t get it
